can't slow down

Hate time dragging on but hate how everything is moving too quickly to catch up. Hate listening to bloody loud rants but hate myself for being so selfish because this is the least I can do to support. Hate not daring to ever say what I feel unless someone else has said it first but hate how I seem to have a talent for saying the first inappropriate thing that comes to my brain. Hate being the one who's always cool with everything. Hate being heck-care but hate caring too much. Hate having to be responsible but hate guilt when you make other people do your work. Hate protocol. Hate expectations. Hate being loud and obnoxious and bouncy because what else are you to do when everyone else is as good as shouting their angst at you.

Hatehatehatehatehate. Hate being tired, most of all.

Well screw the world because this is too much and I can barely distinguish between yesterday and tomorrow anymore so bloody leave me alone.

But what the hell am I complaining about right? Whatever it is I'm going through, they're a mere drop in the ocean compared to other people's pressures. So shut up and count your blessings. Get on with life.

A passing midnight madness that will dissipate when I wake up tomorrow, hale and healthy. Not going to take this down though, because I'm still human. (Despite the efforts of Life in general to the contrary, but heyho we can be as cockroaches ;)