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| although this is a short train. |
Pretty lousy at this whole sharing-inner-thoughts thing though, so let's go.
- Coach LITERALLY scares the crap out of me. Like for real I used to anxiety-poop before every training, and that only stopped when season started 'cause I anxiety-pooped before matches instead.
But that's a good thing too, I think you can never be comfortable around the best coaches 'cause that's how they get you to maximise your potential. Sometimes I think she treats us like how she tells us to treat the ball HAHA 'don't babysit the ball!' and when she expects you to do something, you pretty much just do it.
(Sometimes I couldn't though, and she used to tolerate it for a while until the last couple of trainings when she got pissed off at me xP I'm still trying!!)
- Throwback to Ms Chng who coached me for four years while I was under netball. So much of my play now is influenced by the way she coached RafflesNetball, I wouldn't be the player that I am today if not for her
Was never important enough to get skills-coaching from her (but I was a stubborn brat so I learnt them anyway when the seniors taught me/by watching games) but I learned so much more than skills from her.
Thanks Ms Chng, for being so harsh on me in Sec2 when I screwed up matches due to emotions/nerves/thinking too hard (particularly remember when I threw away so many balls because I kept thinking, 'this is my chance to prove myself.' Obviously that went haywire.), when I lost my chance to play for the next three years because of stupid mistakes on court in non-deciding matches. After that, I promised myself I'd never to throw away my chances like that again. Completely not worth it.
That wasn't all though. She always emphasised mental strength -- 'It's all up there, girls.' 'Come back stronger.' How you play is all up to you, and even if you made a mistake you just pick yourself up and continue playing. No excuses. Her pride in us as Rafflesians - the scoreline doesn't matter at all compared to your best performance.
^ Invaluable lessons that have stuck with me, and carried me through this new, different season.
- How much of a team RJFB is. Been in team sports my whole life, but this is different. (Or, to quote Ruth, special :) Coach always tells us before a match, 'There are 22 of you here, no more and no less.' No more, no less. Really like the format for floorball because it allows nearly everyone to play in every match. Playing gives everyone a stake in the outcome, a stake in the process. A win (or loss) is so much more than a number once your feet touch the court in game-situation, it's elation and adrenaline and the best part of any game is the opportunity to play with your teammates. Might be some player bias here, but I do believe that all 22 of us are a part of the whole journey. Not everyone got an equal amount of court time, but anyone might be sent in for any match, for any duration of time. (Coach can get pretty unpredictable about who she sends in.) There isn't a point where someone can say, 'Oh, I won't be going in for this match so I'm just cruising along~'.
I remember the whole of uppersec I was so neutral about tournament and my performance, 'cause whatever I did had no impact anyway. I knew once prelims ended I wasn't gonna touch that court, so whyever would I bother with training myself properly? Preparing to go in makes you train harder, think harder, mentally prepare more -- put in more of yourself, basically. And it's so much more meaningful when it's the whole team preparing together.
Even more - how everyone's got an attitude that makes playing season with them such a joy. The positive attitude that never makes training a chore, that always keeps encouraging us to get better. How our own performance, and our own standards, mattered more than the scoreline. How hard we fought for every match and every ball, but never getting too caught up in the competition. How lighthearted and nonsense we can be, and at the same time serious enough to put in so much extra time and effort outside of trainings to keep getting better. (holidays, weekends, after school -- there was one time the class was having PE in the ISH the day before a match, so I sat out and went to join some of them taking shots on one half of the ISH while the class played in the other half. After training ChelseaF asked, 'Why are there always floorballers playing outside training? Isn't training enough? I hate swimming, I'd never train on my own.' Honestly? Because it matters so much to us, and because playing with each other is so much better than playing alone.) How much everyone supports everyone else, both as a team and as individuals.
Where else to find a team like this, you tell me??
- Another big part of training for floorball has been all this !fear! and !anxiety! that I never felt in netball before. Fear of not being able to match up, fear of expectations (having to meet them and HAVING THEM PLACED ON ME IN THE FIRST PLACE), anticipation anxiety etc. Been a pretty anxious J1 really HAHA even the thought of training/game always made me nervous.
But with all this fear has also come the knowledge that fear does not own me. Like, I'm still scared of playing (not shitting you, I probably feel more pre-anxiety about trainings than at least half my batchmates hurhur) but I also know that once I step on court, once the ball is in play -- that fear will disappear. Part of it is just that there's no time to be afraid (coach: 'WHY ARE YOU HESITATING! WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? NOTHING!' and her voice usually cracks on the last word hehheh), and part of it is knowing that everything we go through, we do it together. Playing together is simultaneously more and less pressurizing at the same time - knowing not only that they are there for you, but that you are also responsible for them as well. The least I could give was my best performance. (Best effort is not enough, it's a copout - anyone can say they put in their best effort. Best effort is for training. During competition - best performance is the minimum.)
It's quite strange how things work out, because in RN there was no pressure on me except for what I expected for myself. By the time I hit Sec3 I knew I was never gonna touch that finals court, so I pretty much breezed through seasons. Here it's quite the opposite - still have internal expectations for my own performance, but going on court puts on the pressure to match up to the seniors so I wouldn't be a burden. Pressure to actually make a difference to the play in the hopes that we could make it to the next round.
And it's absolutely terrifying to know that people are watching you, have placed hopes and expectations on you. What if you fall short?
(on a related note, I don't actually think I deserved the amount of court time I got :/)
- Good things kind of just happen. Honestly? Being a forward just happened because when Coach told us to choose our positions it looked like we had pretty few forwards. Getting to know everyone in the team has been a matter of a string of happy chances. Every good play just happened on the spot. (one time Coach got annoyed at me because I was supposed to score against Esther, but it took me a couple of tries. Then when I finally did, she was like 'YES! Do exactly what you just did', but I was all ?!?! and couldn't decide whether to give her the confused-look or just look down and try to remember because I seriously had no idea how I'd done it. Needless to say I screwed the next try and she kind of lost her temper after that oops.)
Looking back, I don't think I could've planned any of those 'lucky' moments. Having said that though, luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity. Can't plan it, can only take the chance that's offered you. I'm just glad that so many of them have worked out :) (but -- more preparation for courtwork is definitely in order.)
- How much this team means to me, and how much I will miss it. How do you describe the time you spend, the memories you make with people?
Yux: Yeah, before Coach selected the team I used to think about quitting floorball after council. But y'know once you're in season, you're in it for good. You put so much into it, you just can't quit.
Memories from this season; photos from various people on FB including Vic, Lea, and Cara
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| away friendly at RVH, one of those points when you stop to take stock and say, 'I am a different player from the last time.' From trials to camp, to RVH, to our first match against NJ and our last against IJ - all landmarks for when we J1s looked back and said, 'we've improved from the last time.' (also when I scored my very first goal :)) nothing is ever quite as exhilarating as that) |
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| the second-last training before season in our jerseys + jersey numbers! when they said 'let's line up according to jersey number!' yux and i looked at each other and just stood right at the very end HAHA only two of us have such sticking-out numbers xD think i sprained my ankle on that day hahhah was sitting outside the boards in full jersey looking sad while everyone else trained :P |
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| otherwise known as 'the photo we printed for everyone but forgot cyndi was overseas at the time so we drew in a stick figure.' the stick figure was really cute though!! shihui: it's okay lah cyndi's cute and like a stick anyway, looks somewhat like her |
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| j1s pre-season! never imagined everything that we'd go through together. at the beginning of proper team trainings i was pretty neutral about the whole thing, but now - can't imagine team without any of them. forward-partners with yux, midcourt-shot+screening practice with shihui, shooting practice with edith, playing during pe with ruth toilet plans, writing notes, our 'secret meeting' in the middle of the netball court irreplaceable batchmates :) |
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| finally at RP, doing warmups. sometime later in the season people would take up that space and we'd end up doing warmups around a pole instead HAHA recognising who's counting by their pitch and cadence 'focus starts with warmup guys. in fact focusing starts on the bus!' one day we were doing warmups and some team warming up upstairs kept dropping their ball, so samy went to retrieve it stef: samy's a golden retriever! |
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| didn't really like the floor outside though it's so different from the actual court floor inside! + sometimes we'd have to run into the gym to pick balls and feel super paiseh. but we eventually got used to it after a few games. it's actually very little warmup compared to what we used to do for netball - just indiv stickwork, pairwork, and like five minutes doing court warmup (compared to how we usually take half an hour for court warmup in school LOL) |
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| also there was this one time ele and i were passing then we managed to lose two/three balls HAHA ele shot one up into the rafters (there are a LOT of balls stuck up there, huizhen and elaine already sent a couple up before that) and i accidentally hit one into the locked booth xD we counted about four balls in there through the glass hahhah also how most people will kind of osmosize into the toilet corridor leading to 'our alley' if there's no space outside, but samy and yingzhen always go to the one next to the gym xD |
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| floorball banja. sigh before the last match i was having a sore throat so my voice was damn low, jiale was next to me and she spent the whole banja laughing at me!! :P also yj has the same banja HAHA it was kind of funny seeing them dance after they won us after we had been the ones doing that for the previous matches xD (like after vj match LOL) |
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| the proper full-team photo :)) |
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| we'd do this thing before matches where we clap and run to the other end of the court, and run shouting back. really brings back the first time we walked in and we were all nerves and twitching to start court warmup, then coach was like 'no you go out there and do this first. make them afraid of you!!' enjoying the process :) |
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| at the start of the season, i was dumb enough to look up up into the gallery where all the spectators would be ranged. the first time i did that it was practically packed with guys wearing green leaning against the glass 'cause the boys' match was after ours so instead of warming up they were watching our first period -.- and I WAS SO INTIMIDATED. thankfully once you get on court pretty much everything else but the game ceases to exist (except for coach's voice) yeah lesson #1, don't pay any attention to the spectators. after the first match i learned to only looked up after the match was over LOL didn't even notice when the batchmates came for the VJ match until after xP |
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| one of the few times coach actually de/briefed us off-court HAHA used to think i'd never understand when she used the board to demonstrate what she wanted us to do, but you do kinda get it after a few weeks :) |
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| one cheer in 'WHAT TEAM?' / 'RAFFLES!' once coach asked us, 'what do you feel when you cheer that?' so many things. |
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| actually quite surprised that there's actually a photo of this HAHA first goal; i think edith and yux were more excited about it than i was HAHA i was still in rebound-mode xD after the match yux and i looked at each other and said exactly same thing HAHA 'if you asked me to re-create that shot/pass i don't know if i could.' 'yeah it kind of just happened.' |
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| before matches, in between periods, after matches - coach really loves debriefing us on court. it's quite cute haha the refs always look like they wanna chase us off xD it's like our down-time in between periods, the calmest part when it's not 'are we going in next' and in the middle of when we're playing particularly hard, coach: all of you take time to breathe first before you sit down. [...] okay look here's how we're going to play. sometimes she'll also just tell us, 'get into your triangles/pairs and talk' |
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| line 2 :) only joined them after season started, but learned a lot from them! had a lot of anxiety about being in this line, but then again after a while coach didn't really play by lines anyway swapping with evan and cyndi as forwards, our 'pocket/flower' play (cara: line 1 has a play called 'sushi'!), vic trying to teach me direct pocket shot, trying to beat past cara, jiale giving me The Big-Eyed Look, fistbumps after pre-match line talks |
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| (jaime about to hug evan and vic at the far left) super cute how happy we all were about our vj tie hehhehe |
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| crazy batchmates who came down to support our vj match :') they're amazing lah before our first match they were spamming the whatsapp group, and they've been so supportive this whole way - couldn't ask for any more. someone: ya we go down and lug the huge ice box around, then we wait for y'all to warm up, watch about an hour of game, wait for y'all to team talk -- managed to catch up on a lot of sleep |
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| coach!! |
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| crazy things we do after our last match okay we pretty much go crazy after every match anyway esp yux and i and our broomstick song HAHA |
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| then everyone was taking line photo/defenders photo/centres photo and someone had the bright idea of having all of us in the same position as our first line photo xD samy: everyone's just finding exclusive groups to take photos with!! and somehow our forwards photo never materialised HAHA |
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| batchmates at the end of our season :)) realised that actually we have a lot of 'batch photos' but the seniors never take any 'j2s photos' hahhah |
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| end of season with rjfb'13; thanks for everything :) y'all have been an incredibly amazing team, words simply can't express season is so much more than floorball skills and some play-time - it's this team of 22, the stress, the laughter, the late nights, the mornings, the dinners, the holidays, the sweat, the happiness, the disappointment, the people who started out as strangers and became close friends -- these are the memories i will keep with me |
- Gotta improve, gotta get better. We'll make them so proud of us next year.
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